2003-10-28 16:08![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kumimonster
kumimonsterBondCon is coming up.
it takes place the same weekend as AVN.
in Las Vegas.
for those in the know, bondCon is pretty damn explanatory as far as what it is.
Even for those not in the know, AVN in conjuction with CES is like the great grand daddy of conventions.
They just dont happen to be named something funny like ElectriCon or PornoCon.
i grew up surrounded by a bunch of cons in the SF bay area.
we got SiliCon and BayCon and DundraCon and AnimeCon.
then u got them things like Westercon, Norwescon, FanimeCon, aahhhh
of course dont forget the biggies: DragonCon and WorldCon
did u know there's an AdultCon?
defCon is for hackers.
this guy i know does bawug. some wireless thing i dont understand.
at least he doesnt call the meetings BaWugyCon.
check out the article salon.com has on their DragonCon adventure entitled Sex with Stormtroopers.
i especially like the part about how this one guy explains he used to have the best ass in fandom. the ageing process hasn't halted his involvement in trekdom either. he just switched to wearing a Riker uniform to disguise the growing belly.
on the last page of the story, the author talks about being able to purchase japanese tentacle porn. damn. that doesnt happen at bondCon. maybe someone should bring some cuz my collection is wearing thin and i'm bored of watching the same old shit.
and then there's the litle trooper story...
"Calling all storm troopers. Report to the Fantasm party in Room 931 at once."
On the main floor, we see two people in partial storm trooper outfits.
"Could you put your full uniform on for us?" Charles asks. Mehitabel giggles.
"I guess so," one of the troopers says uncertainly. "Why?"
"Well, we need you for sexual activities," I explain. "But just oral sex. See, we're at this party, and everyone really wants to have sex with a storm trooper. But you need to be in full uniform."
Both storm troopers are looking a little disturbed. "Why don't you try some of the other guys? They're downstairs."
Downstairs, we find more partially outfitted storm troopers. They look far less enticing with only the top half of their armor on. Each time we request sex, they send us to another part of the hotel. All the troopers seem to like the idea of putting on their full uniform for us, but when we bring up sex, they send us on to someone else. Don't they see the connection between their fetishistic uniforms and kinky sex?
"Storm troopers are all bark and no bite," a nontrooper tells us helpfully, adjusting her breasts inside a latex dress.
"They can't have sex in their uniforms because they're in command," Mehitabel replies mournfully.
But wonder of wonders, when we return to the Fantasm party for more groping, the walkie-talkie plan has worked. There are three storm troopers waiting for us, looking extremely confused. Unfortunately, they aren't in full uniform. After a long discussion about storm trooper design, we discover that the uniforms are like overalls -- they're mostly one piece, and once you have them on, it's hard to lie down or bend over or, um, anything else. Sadly, the one trooper who is interested in debauchery doesn't have a hinge on his plastic storm trooper crotch guard, so we can't get access.
"What were you thinking?" I berate him. "How could you make a uniform like this without hinges on the crotch?" I tap the thick white plastic over his underwear and frown.
"I'm sorry," he says, looking genuinely contrite. "I didn't have time." Another trooper proudly shows off his crotch hinge, but declines the oral sex.
"Hasn't anyone ever wanted to fuck you in uniform?" I ask the third trooper, who doesn't look very Imperial in his Gap khakis. Apparently not. We have reached the limits of our shared fantasies with these troopers. They're not going to play by our rules, and we're not going to play by theirs. I've learned another rule of tolerance at DragonCon: All LARPing is consensual, and if you find yourself in a LARP you don't like you can just go find another one.
Our storm troopers wander off in search of the Empire.
there's like a con for EVERYTHING.
i got invited to DomCon.
i'm not a dom.
it's in april.
not sure if i'll go yet, but i think i'd rather be somewhere else during my Spring Break.
i will probably attend shibariCon.
i wonder.
if i had a SushiCon would people come?
there could be panels on how to make it, how to eat it, how long it can sit around, how to make the plastic ones outside of restaurants, how to mix your soy and wasabi without getting those green lumps in there, how to tell people politely not to stick their damn chopsticks straight up into the rice cuz it's rude...
hmm how bout an UdonCon? how to slurp your noodles, and yes. it's not a bad thing to do!
hmm PoiCon! how do you dispose of your poi without anyone seeing you spit it back out of your mouth after pretending that you really do eat it all the time like it cuz you're sooo kamaaina.
fuckit. KimCheeCon where contests will be held for the best chili pepper eaters! and of course, best antacid and other aids to take care of the gas!
damn. my foot is alseep.
and i have to get to classs.
more on this stuff later.
it takes place the same weekend as AVN.
in Las Vegas.
for those in the know, bondCon is pretty damn explanatory as far as what it is.
Even for those not in the know, AVN in conjuction with CES is like the great grand daddy of conventions.
They just dont happen to be named something funny like ElectriCon or PornoCon.
i grew up surrounded by a bunch of cons in the SF bay area.
we got SiliCon and BayCon and DundraCon and AnimeCon.
then u got them things like Westercon, Norwescon, FanimeCon, aahhhh
of course dont forget the biggies: DragonCon and WorldCon
did u know there's an AdultCon?
defCon is for hackers.
this guy i know does bawug. some wireless thing i dont understand.
at least he doesnt call the meetings BaWugyCon.
check out the article salon.com has on their DragonCon adventure entitled Sex with Stormtroopers.
i especially like the part about how this one guy explains he used to have the best ass in fandom. the ageing process hasn't halted his involvement in trekdom either. he just switched to wearing a Riker uniform to disguise the growing belly.
on the last page of the story, the author talks about being able to purchase japanese tentacle porn. damn. that doesnt happen at bondCon. maybe someone should bring some cuz my collection is wearing thin and i'm bored of watching the same old shit.
and then there's the litle trooper story...
"Calling all storm troopers. Report to the Fantasm party in Room 931 at once."
On the main floor, we see two people in partial storm trooper outfits.
"Could you put your full uniform on for us?" Charles asks. Mehitabel giggles.
"I guess so," one of the troopers says uncertainly. "Why?"
"Well, we need you for sexual activities," I explain. "But just oral sex. See, we're at this party, and everyone really wants to have sex with a storm trooper. But you need to be in full uniform."
Both storm troopers are looking a little disturbed. "Why don't you try some of the other guys? They're downstairs."
Downstairs, we find more partially outfitted storm troopers. They look far less enticing with only the top half of their armor on. Each time we request sex, they send us to another part of the hotel. All the troopers seem to like the idea of putting on their full uniform for us, but when we bring up sex, they send us on to someone else. Don't they see the connection between their fetishistic uniforms and kinky sex?
"Storm troopers are all bark and no bite," a nontrooper tells us helpfully, adjusting her breasts inside a latex dress.
"They can't have sex in their uniforms because they're in command," Mehitabel replies mournfully.
But wonder of wonders, when we return to the Fantasm party for more groping, the walkie-talkie plan has worked. There are three storm troopers waiting for us, looking extremely confused. Unfortunately, they aren't in full uniform. After a long discussion about storm trooper design, we discover that the uniforms are like overalls -- they're mostly one piece, and once you have them on, it's hard to lie down or bend over or, um, anything else. Sadly, the one trooper who is interested in debauchery doesn't have a hinge on his plastic storm trooper crotch guard, so we can't get access.
"What were you thinking?" I berate him. "How could you make a uniform like this without hinges on the crotch?" I tap the thick white plastic over his underwear and frown.
"I'm sorry," he says, looking genuinely contrite. "I didn't have time." Another trooper proudly shows off his crotch hinge, but declines the oral sex.
"Hasn't anyone ever wanted to fuck you in uniform?" I ask the third trooper, who doesn't look very Imperial in his Gap khakis. Apparently not. We have reached the limits of our shared fantasies with these troopers. They're not going to play by our rules, and we're not going to play by theirs. I've learned another rule of tolerance at DragonCon: All LARPing is consensual, and if you find yourself in a LARP you don't like you can just go find another one.
Our storm troopers wander off in search of the Empire.
there's like a con for EVERYTHING.
i got invited to DomCon.
i'm not a dom.
it's in april.
not sure if i'll go yet, but i think i'd rather be somewhere else during my Spring Break.
i will probably attend shibariCon.
i wonder.
if i had a SushiCon would people come?
there could be panels on how to make it, how to eat it, how long it can sit around, how to make the plastic ones outside of restaurants, how to mix your soy and wasabi without getting those green lumps in there, how to tell people politely not to stick their damn chopsticks straight up into the rice cuz it's rude...
hmm how bout an UdonCon? how to slurp your noodles, and yes. it's not a bad thing to do!
hmm PoiCon! how do you dispose of your poi without anyone seeing you spit it back out of your mouth after pretending that you really do eat it all the time like it cuz you're sooo kamaaina.
fuckit. KimCheeCon where contests will be held for the best chili pepper eaters! and of course, best antacid and other aids to take care of the gas!
damn. my foot is alseep.
and i have to get to classs.
more on this stuff later.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
(no subject)
u gonna go to all the CONS!
work it for da bootay u can find there
*hey mr stormtrooper!*
pwahahahaCon
SushiCon ... I'll facilitate the workshop on proper ways to de-splinter your ohashi without starting a fire. And how to make cute rests for 'em out of the paper wrapper.
KimCheeCon ... only if my grandmother can be a "guest of honor" and I can eat it in my hotel room without freaking people out. (Have you tried those little plastic bowls of pre-made rice that you pop in the microwave for a couple of minutes? Damn good.)
Now I'm hungry.
(no subject)
(no subject)
I'd be up for SushiCon and UdonCon, WasabiCon?
Pass on the PoiCon.
(no subject)
HAHA