no more sales for now

i am going to stop selling my latex for the time being.
it seems silly to most, but the most important physical thing in the world that i possess is my latex collection.
i've been a mess for the past couple of days.
i suppose it's the sense of finality but i've got snot running down my nose and my eyes wont dry up.
it's an entire decade of my life being thrown out bit by bit and it's really tearing me apart.
i feel like i'm selling myself
quite cheaply in some instances.
and i can't do it anymore.

it must seem stupid to have so much invested in things that are just material
but then these things represent my work just as much as the images that eventually follow.
not just the physical latex, but the ideas and effort and creativity in designing and physical effort and research in trying to create something new and different.
someone told me, it's not just my history, but a part of fetish history as well.

i dont care that i'm being materialistic about a bunch of rubber sheets and glue
if there was a fire, i'd save my passport first, then my latex.
(assuming the other humans could walk as well)

---

the current emails i've already responded to i will continue to negotiate.
the future meetings that were arranged will still happen (ie.sf fetishball, london, fetishevolution)
the agreed upon sales, of course, were settled.

it will all help to settle the home in london for at least the month of March.
then we'll just see what happens when that time comes.