2009-08-09

kumimonster: (dive)
just some fun (and ick) stuff!

7 Terrifying Giant Versions of Disgusting Critters

here is one. others at the link above.
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JellyFish

Most of us are aware that jellyfish are little more than floating shopping bags filled with wet terror. What's worse is that they're typically too small, too translucent and too inconspicuous to spot in open water.

Most poisonous creatures flag themselves with bright colors and elaborate displays to let potential predators know that they're poisonous. Jellyfish apparently don't really care if you attack them, they're just content to make you hurt before they go down.

The Horror, Oh God the Horror:

Well, most jellyfish are content with their invisible dickery, anyway. Not the Lion's Mane Jellyfish. It wants you to see it. It's going to make goddamn sure that you don't miss it, because it's the size of a fucking Ford Fiesta.

The Lion's Mane Jellyfish can grow to be eight-feet across, with some types growing tentacles to over 120-feet long, making them some of the longest living things on earth.


The Lion's Mane Jellyfish, pictured here with its only natural predator: Gravity.

Holy Shit! Is it Dangerous?

We'd like to tell you it's harmless, we really would. We would love to tell you that the worst thing that could happen is that you get slimed by something that looks like a giant exploding testicle, but we can't lie to you: It's a big enough threat that entire pages are dedicated to informing scuba divers to stay the fuck away.

Considering that anybody even considered that advice is ballsy enough to be underwater in Australia in the first place--the country where monsters are born--you know that's a pretty serious warning. Their sting can cause extreme pain, cramping and even respiratory failure; which would suck in the best of circumstances, much less when you're trapped beneath several million tons of water and surrounded by orbs of living poison, while below, herds of Giant Marine Isopods wait to consume your prone body.

 



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kumimonster: (cmwSix)
ooo
i hope this doesn't suck

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Ridley Scott, DiCaprio travel to "Brave New World"
Fri Aug 7, 2009 9:29pm EDT

By Steven Zeitchik

NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) - Ridley Scott is going back to the futurism.

The "Blade Runner" director is joining forces with Leonardo DiCaprio to take on one of the most highly regarded dystopian works of literature, Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World."

Both are producing the Universal project, which DiCaprio would tentatively star in and Scott direct. The studio has brought on "Apocalypto" scribe Farhad Safinia to write the script; he's expected to be working shortly.

the rest at reuters.com

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kumimonster: (cam tongue)
might have to see this one:

Walk Hard starring John C. Reilly, due out later this year. Paul Rudd plays John Lennon. Jack Black plays Paul McCartney.

torrent torrent where are youuuu





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i'm supposed to be going diving soon.
haha

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The 6 Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit In Your Shoe)


Geographical Cone Snail

What the Fuck is That?

So you're on vacation in Australia, drinking a Fosters, chasing dingos away from your babies and arguing about what things are and are not knives. You sign up to go on a scuba tour of the Great Barrier Reef. After a quick tutorial on what you can and cannot touch that you didn't even understand (they are speaking Australian after all), you're down in the ocean exploring the reef. One small and particularly beautiful shell grabs your attention and you pick it up out of curiosity. That's when you feel a pinch on your palm.

Congratulations, you've just been stung by one of Australia's deathly toxic residents.

What's this Funny Feeling?

That funny feeling is cocktail of toxins that were just lanced into your hand by a harpoon. Cone snails can fire off those harpoons in any direction and they use them to paralyze fish (at which point they then eat them--alive). Fortunately, you're too big for the cone snail to eat. Unfortunately, the toxins still affect you in a terrible way. Depending on which species of cone snail you picked up, you're either feeling the effects of your nervous system being fucked to hell or you're suffering this delightful symphony of shit, per Wikipedia:


You'll need both of these. And a bucket. And several small miracles.

"Paresthesias of the lips and tongue are followed by sialorrhea, sweating, headache, weakness, lethargy, ataxia, incoordination, tremor, paralysis, cyanosis, aphonia, dysphagia, seizures, dyspnea, bronchorrhea, bronchospasm, respiratory failure, coma, and hypotension. Gastroenteric symptoms are often severe and include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. Cardiac arrhythmias may precede complete respiratory failure and cardiovascular collapse."

And you probably haven't even made it to dry land yet.

Will I Be Alright?

That depends on how competent the people around you are. There is no cure for the cone snail's venom, and treatment is simply based on how long your rescuers can keep you alive while your body pisses, shits and vomits the toxins out. If the people saving you haven't already fled the scene of your body exploding from every orifice, their CPR is simply meant to keep you breathing until you've shat the last little bit of venom out.

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Since i'm here, let's do another!

Blue-Ringed Octopus

What the Fuck is That?

After that pants-shitting near-death experience with the cone snail, you opt to explore the shallow tidal pools on shore. After scavenging through all the dully colored shells, you come upon a tiny octopus. As you approach, bright blue rings appear on the its skin. Curious, you pick the magical creature up.

Luck is not on your side today. The appearance of those bright rings is the warning sign of the blue-ringed octopus.

What's this Funny Feeling?

Or no feeling, as it turns out. The beak of the golf ball-sized bottom feeder is strong enough to pierce through wetsuit gloves and give the handler a fatal dose of venom. You probably won't feel the toxins, at first. That's only because you'll be completely paralyzed. But believe us when we tell you that you'll begin to feel pain when you realize you can't breathe.


You don't need to point. We see it.

The venom from these tiny sea creatures is created by the bacteria that live in their air sacs. The deadly cocktail contains ten toxins in all, designed to leave you paralyzed and yet completely aware of your surroundings.

Will I Be Alright?

Like the cone snail attack, it all depends on how much the people around you know about what's happened. If they realize that you've been bitten by a blue-ringed octopus (whose venom is powerful enough to kill 26 human beings within a couple of minutes), rescue breathing may keep you alive.

But if no one is aware of what happened, you'll probably just appear dead to the world. Nobody will know that you're paralyzed and can't breathe. As they pack you into a body bag, your body reflexively shitting itself, your one final thought will be: "Man, fuck Australia."





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