Well folks, it finally happened. I sold a book to Harlequin Book Publishers’ brand new imprint, Harlequin Teens. Without giving too much away, it’s really a perfect fit for the Teens branch of Harlequin which, according to Harlequin, is designed solely to print books “specifically developed for readers of Twilight.” Yes. An imprint was created strictly to write more books like Twilight, as sales of adult books are down and sales of teen romance novels infused with supernatural elements are way, way up because adults are all switching over to these teen books.
I know what you’re thinking, and I know that nothing about my entire body would suggest that I’m even vaguely interested in Teen Fiction, but the fact is I’ve been wanting to write one of these Magical-Softcore-Pseudoporn books for a long time, for reasons completely unrelated to the fact that the book industry as a whole is dying and books like Twilight and Those Other Twilight Books are the only books that people actually buy any more. Total coincidence, because I truly believe in this book, which is why I’m giving all you folks a special preview. Enjoy!
Synopsis
In a sentence, this is a story about Bonita Ingénue a 15-year-old, misunderstood young woman who gets rescued from her provincial, boring life and whisked away to a fantastical world of exciting, sensual, magic and erotic, thick, penetrating whimsy. At the beginning of our tale, she leaves her hometown of Backstory, Massachusetts for the excitement and intrigue of Excitetrigue, Colorado. The kids at her new school are all impressed with how one dimensional and uninteresting she is and it’s only a matter of time before all of the popular boys ask her out on romantic dates in the hopes fingerblasting her. Even though Bonnie has her pick of the litter at school, she really has her heart set on Theo, the mysterious boy who lives just outside of town in Dragon Hills. Theo has feelings for Bonnie as well, but he also has a deep, dark secret. A deep, dark dragon secret. He is a dragon.
Bonnie accepts Theo for who he is and Theo appreciates how unobtrusive and malleable Bonnie is. Together, and against the wishes of Bonnie’s parents, they get into some pretty graphic dragon-fucking, and it’s a little bit weird, but beautiful if you just open your mind. Eventually Theo has to leave the town (I forget why) and Bonnie goes along with him and abandons her family (because if there’s anything Twilight tell us, it’s that chicks love sitting passively on the sidelines while violent, mysterious men make absolutely every important decision for them). There’s maybe a hunt at some point but otherwise most of the tail end of the book is more aggressive dragonhumping as Bonnie and Theo live out their days in Theo’s tower, blissfully unaware of the outside world as they enjoy a life that’s all sweat, asses and wings. You’ve heard of fire-breathing dragons, well, Theo is a desire-breathing dragon. (He also breathes fire.)
Sample Chapter
Theo walked slowly, yet purposefully down the halls of the school. In many ways, Theo was somewhat of a paradox, a contained contradiction; he stalked the halls with an ambivalent carelessness, seemingly ignoring the whole of the world around him, and yet he carried himself, somehow with a total natural awareness of his surroundings. When you saw him, you felt as if he couldn’t be reached, as if he was so enveloped in his own world that he couldn’t possibly notice you, but still, he knew somehow precisely where you were and what you were doing and, in Bonita’s case, what she was doing was staring directly at him. There’s something about that boy, Bonita thought but would never dare say. Something different, a kind of focused detachment, if that’s even possible. It wasn’t possible, but independent thought wasn’t one of Bonita’s strong points. Theo’s claws clicked and clacked on the linoleum of the floor, making a sort of “clickity clackity” sound, like the sound of dragon claws on linoleum. Bonita turned to one of the minor characters, a girl one.
“Who is that boy,” Bonita asked. “He is so mysterious, and so different from the other boys.” In the distance, Theo snarled and swung his tail a few times, inadvertently sweeping the legs of a passing student.
“Who, you mean Theo?” Bonita’s friend-person smiled off in the direction of Theo, chewing gum or twirling her hair or something. “Theo’s mysterious. No one knows much about him, but he’s been around forever. He only disappeared once, three years ago, when he drove across country on his motorcycle. He’s so dreamy. He lives just outside of town in Dragon Hills.” If Bonita had responsible parents, they’d have taught her to ask questions like
“Why is he at our school if he doesn’t live in this town?” and “How old must he be if he already had a motorcycle license three years ago, when we were all 12?” Unfortunately, Bonita’s parents really only existed so they could disapprove of her young love, and I can’t even totally remember if she had both parents or if one of them died at some point. And I am not flipping back to check, so you can just forget it.
Go to the site for the rest bahahhha
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